13 Signs Your Roommate Needs A Romantic Intervention

Roommates are like snowflakes. Each one is unique, fragile, and leaves the toothpaste just sitting out next to the sink even though the second cabinet shelf is clearly designated as the toothpaste shelf! I can only leave so many passive-aggressive notes…

Verbally delivered notes...
I’ve moved on to verbally delivered notes…

And while a good roommate can become your best friend, even the best can fall victim to dating induced hysteria. And I’m not talking about the 1800’s definition.

Wink wink nudge nudge
“Massage”

So to help you figure out when enough is enough and you need to have a serious discussion (or gentle massage) with your living partner, here are

14 Signs Your Roommate Needs A Romantic Intervention:

  1. He has a minifridge specifically for his cologne

panther

2. Tinder has caused her to set no fewer than four actual fires

3. You’ve been awakened multiple times by the rhythmic creaking of his bedsprings… and his gentle weeping

Crying

4. You’ve caught herĀ listening through the wall to the neighbor couple’s pillow talk

5. He’s writing The Notebook fanfiction

What does that even mean, Ryan?! Your dialogue is terrible!
What does that even mean, Ryan?! Your dialogue is terrible!

6. She bought her last match a pet dog on their second date

7. Her last match ended up being a surprisingly well trained dog in a trench coat

Wishbone was very convincing

8. He’s more concerned about swiping than Dora the Explorer

9. Last Valentine’s Day, he hired a Cupid impersonator to follow him around and shoot his crushes with arrows

Cupid

10. He’s in significant debt from battling Cupid-arrow related lawsuits

11. You’ve heard her practicing her sexy moaning before her dates

Phrasing!
Phrasing!

12. After her last break up, she bought night vision goggles, which she insists are for nocturnal bird watching

13. He’s become overly investedĀ in your romantic life

Thanks?
Thanks?

So that’s it; the key to a drama-free roommate relationship. All you need to do is keep an eye out for those red flags and have your intervention banners at the ready.

And just remember, whatever happens, let’s not get hysterical…