The Top Five People You Find at Every Wedding

It’s wedding season folks, and we all know what that means. During this season of love we all know that you fit comfortably into one of these three categories:

• You’re actually getting married. Congrats! Oh, and also congrats on your ability to fend off glares from every envious acquaintance, dodging “so how’d y’all meet?” questions, and finally, learning how to say “no” politely when someone asks to try on your ring.
• You’re in the heart of the wedding party. Bridesmaid? Groomsman? Whatever it may be, no pressure, but if that bride and groom aren’t 100 percent satisfied with their big day and every event leading up to it, it’s at least a little bit your fault.
• If you’re anything like me, you’re more single than ever and attending all of these weddings for the free food, an excuse to dress up in your strappiest heels and most of all, to people watch.

Now, the last point leads us to the colorful bunch that that we all, without fail, find ourselves among at every wedding that we attend and this June won’t be any different.

Shall we begin?

1. The 27 Dresses Bridesmaid

We all have a friend who is well, just that. She’s the best friend that you’ve ever had and that anyone has ever had. She spends too much of her time planning everybody else’s weddings and is the ultimate hopeless romantic. While she’s busy planning what’s-her-name’s bachelorette party, her own love life is as thriving as a hibernating bear in December.

2. The Best Bro

-dary. Legendary.

Yes, there’s always the one groomsman or wedding guest who is just at the wedding to check out which fish happen to be in this particular sea. This is also the same guy who scoffed at the invitation’s idea of bringing a “plus one” and has mastered the art of dodging female guests that he’s already hit on at previous weddings.

And although he keeps saying that he’ll never get married because his life right now is just too good to be true, everyone knows this is a front. Your friends are counting down the days until this big-talkin’ friend gets married because everyone knows that wedding will be one for the books.

Or like Barney Stinson would say, it’ll be legendary.

3. The Pouting Parent

Just because two people found each other and fell in love, doesn’t mean that the parents are going to immediately love each other, or even the person that their beloved child is marrying. Yes, it’s rough out there when two families collide, and inevitable, one parent cannot hide his or her distaste for the future in-law.

This is where it can get #awkward for anyone in this situation, but when people like me (people watchers in the third category) latch onto the drama like leeches.

You can honestly spot this parent from a mile away. While the rest of the wedding party is laughing, celebrating and socializing with one another, this parent will slip into a mood of sheer disappointment when he or she thinks no one is looking.

Yup, this parent thought his or her kid would just come to their senses before the big day arrived, but alas, that didn’t happen. When the newlyweds inevitably have their first fight, this parent will be the first one to hop on the “I told you so!” bandwagon.

4. The Dude Who Just Won’t Remember This Tomorrow

This is the guy at the wedding who is making the trip out worth it. His vocal outbursts and questionable dance moves are enough to keep everyone buckling over with laughter, and you have stories for days thanks to him.

While this is all fun and games, you come to realize that this dude is having so much fun, that he definitely won’t remember anything after the ceremony tomorrow.
For the moment though, everyone continues rallying around the guy who is almost more of the life of the party than the bride and groom. Cheers to that.

5. The person who – wait, who is that even?

And finally, to round up our list of the five people you (without fail) will find at a wedding we have my favorite. The person who, well, the person who no one exactly knows.

This is the person who will walk up to you and greet you by name, only so you can muster a not-so-convincing “hey, you!” back because you and the rest of the wedding party have no idea who this mysterious social butterfly is, and you’re all too self-conscious to ask.

Alright, that rounds up our list!

Did we miss anyone important?

Let us know in the comments!

-LD